Can You Stop A Divorce?
No one gets married thinking that it will end in divorce. There is always optimism and hope and the belief that love can conquer all whenever two people decide to marry.
Unfortunately, life is hard. No one is immune to the daily stress of living your life and trying to share that life with another person. You can be two of the most compatible people in the world and still want to scratch each others eyes out at time. Living with someone day after day after day can become tiresome. Always having to think of someone else before making decisions cam be difficult for everyone. Putting someone else needs above your own grows old very quickly.
So why do we do it? Because the benefits of two people who love each other and have a genuine desire to live their lives together make it worth all the everyday tedium. At least for most of us. I love the saying ” I’ve been married for 15 years and at least 2-3 of them, I didn’t even LIKE him”. To me, that says it all. Its not easy but the benefits are worth it. If you make a commitment to marry each other, you need to stick with it.
But what about when its REALLY hard? I don’t just mean arguing over who needs to take the garbage out. I mean constant bickering over everything. I mean going out with friends to avoid your spouse. Volunteering to work late Because you can’t stand the thought of another night of disagreements with your spouse.
If you are on the brink of a divorce, you can still stop it. You do need motivation to save it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be both sides being motivated, but obviously your chances are better if both sides want to save the marriage. You can change the momentum of your relationship and turn it positive. You need to learn that arguing is a waste of time and learn practical and helpful solutions to your problems. If inequality or power is an issue in your relationship, there are ways to resolve it.
If you want or need to save your marriage, there is hope. It won’t be easy but you can find solutions to almost any problem that will allow you to work out your differences and stay married.
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Jennie Crawford is the stay at home mom of two small children. For more information go to http://www.jenniecrawford.com/stopyourdivorce Tip! Failure to secure a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (Quadro) in the event of a 401K or other tax impacted investment that is divided in the divorce. If you don’t do the right thing, huge tax penalties can be imposed on taking money out of IRAs, 401Ks, or Annuities.
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