Dear Eating Disorder:

It has been a tough couple weeks. I am tired, exhausted actually. I feel as though my strength is gone. I have been thinking about how long we have been together. When I think about it, I get frustrated, angry, discouraged and empty.

I met you when I was in the sixth grade. You wanted to be my friend when no one else would. You helped me with math and spelling. Anorexia, Bulimia and Compulsive Overeating. You said #1 Don’t trust anyone because they will end up hurting or leaving me. #2 Don’t tell anyone anything because they really don’t care anyway. #3 Feelings are to be kept to myself.

You have saved me from conflict, kept me focus, helped me become independent and you kept me safe. You also kept me from forming relationships, you controlled me, you told me that the numbers on the scale was all that mattered. You were mean to me and you allowed others to be mean to me too. I was not strong enough to tell them to stop.

You taught me to hate my body, to despise everything about it. You said my hair was too curly, my shoulders were too broad, my breasts were too big, my thighs were too fat, my stomach needed to be cut out, and my calves were just huge. You convinced me that no man would ever find me attractive and that the world would be better off if I were invisible.

I appreciate you taking care of me when I needed you. I don’t need you anymore. I have been running from you for the past 12 years and wherever I go there you are, ready, willing and waiting. I have gone as far away as Alaska to try to get rid of you. I jumped out of a plane 5 thousand feet in the air, Climbed 30 ft in the air and walked along a cable, both things I did trying to get rid of you.

I loved to serve others, then you got all clingy and told me that unless I served others they wouldn’t want me around. Some days you even tried to get me to stay in bed and not go to work. That didn’t work because you were sending me mixed messages. On one hand you told me to stay in bed and on the other hand you told me that I had to be the perfect teacher. You didn’t care that it was my first year. You told me to get up at 4:30am to work on my lesson plans, you let my kids walk all over me. For 9 years of my life you had me running away from myself. You told me that I didn’t need God and sometimes I actually believed you.

When I started teaching you tried to tell me that God didn’t matter, that sleep was more important. I have God on my side at church. I ignored you. I put my heart into my singing. I also started to form relationships with others and stayed in one place for a year. You hated that! You wanted me all to yourself.

I wasn’t strong enough to keep you away. My confidence was shot and I was afraid of people. You told me I looked like a kid and that adults were never going to accept me. You said that men would never find me attractive. You made me afraid of myself, never comfortable in my own skin. You told me I was short, fat and ugly and I believed you. You should be ashamed of yourself, ruining my life like that. I am putting in for a divorce and taking you to court. You are being sued for personality theft, personal damages, and I am getting sole custody of myself. You have no visitation rights - If you try to visit I will be ready. I might not be strong now, the people around me help me to become strong. They love me, they believe in me, they value my presence on this earth.

You have destroyed too many lives.

I am no longer running, I am sitting.

I am not doing, I am being.

I am not dying, I am rising.

I am no longer fake, I am real.

I am no longer ashamed of myself, I am proud.

I am no longer dead, I am alive.

Together we will become strong

and put you in your place

According to Meislik & Levavy, the underlying principle behind child support is that “children of divorced parents have a right to be supported in accordance with the standard of living they had during their parent’s marriage. The amount is based upon what an intact family with a certain level of income would spend for their child.”

How do courts determine how much you pay in child support?
Each state has its own guidelines that courts must follow when determining child support payments. Your family law attorney should be knowledgeable about those guidelines, which will allow them to provide you with a preliminary calculation. However, these are merely “guidelines” and not “rules.”

How long do you have to pay child support?
In most cases, child support payments stop when the child graduates from high school or completes four years of college. However, depending on the situation and where your divorce takes place, these timelines may differ. Some states require you to continue paying child support until the “child” is 21- years old. Other factors might include whether the child is still living with the other parent, has been married, entered the armed forces or passed away. After a certain age, your child may have the option to be emancipated, in which case you would no longer be required to pay child support. However, regardless of how often you and your child see each other (even if not at all), you are still required to pay child support until one of these other factors have affected the arrangement.

Recently, I had a question from someone who was going through a divorce and was concerned about lost health insurance coverage because she was covered under her husband’s insurance. She was concerned not just for herself, but for her children as well. This question comes up a lot. See is this answer helps you better understand what to do. If you have additional questions on this topic, feel free to add to the blog, and I’ll answer them.

Medical Insurance and Divorce

To answer your questions specifically, here are some ideas to consider.

1) You and your children are automatically covered under your husband’s insurance as a dependent until you divorce.

2) When your divorce is final, you have the opportunity to continue your husband’s insurance by triggering what is called “COBRA”. (Note: there is another blog entry that defined COBRA.) This will continue your coverage for an additional 18 months; unfortunately, you will have to pay the full cost of the coverage (and the company can have you pay 102 - 105% of the coverage cost).

Your children, by law, will becovered under the parent’s coverage whose birth date occurs first in the calender year.

3) One suggestion is that when you hire an Attorney to assist with your divorce, you might want to ask, in the settlement negotiations, to have the price of the COBRA payments included in your settlement. This would be particularly important if you happen to have the early-in-the year birthdate, and will be paying for the children’s health insurance coverage. This cost should not have to come out of your child support, as it can be VERY EXPENSIVE.

4) Whatever you decided to do, keep all documents together. Whenever you talk to anyone, document to whom you talk, get the name and tele #, and what was said by all in the conversation as soon as possible after the conversation. In this way, you document what is said, and do not have to rely on memory. Also, when you send anything to anyone, keep a copy for yourself, and send it by registered mail, so that you have proof of receipt.

In Colorado divorce law, lawyers are noticing a rising trend against preferential treatment towards the mother.

In previous years, there used to be a bias in favor of a mother’s parental rights during and after a divorce. That’s no longer the case, according to the Arvada-based law firm of Hull & Zimmerman.

Rather, the new trend of child custody centers around the concept of “the child’s best interest.”

In most cases of divorce, the court bestows “custodial parent” status on one parent and “visitation parent” status on the other. The “custodial” parent is the primary caregiver, and the “visitation” parent is the one with visitation rights. In legal terms, these visitations are called “parenting time” and typically take place on weekends, alternate holidays, etc.

In previous years, it was often the mother who was granted “custodial parent” status. Now, however, this status is determined on an individual basis, and gender is no longer as important as it once was.

While everyone wants an amicable divorce, unfortunately that’s not always the case. Which is why experts recommend hiring an attorney. Proper, qualified legal representation can help ensure that the child’s best interests are protected. For instance, if one parent has an attorney, but the other does not, the latter parent is at a great disadvantage when it comes to negotiating the legal system.

An attorney helps his or her client obtain primary custody of the children. Additionally, an attorney can help that parent deal with any problems regarding visitation rights regarding their ex-spouse. Experts agree - entering into child custody proceedings without qualified legal representation often decreases your ability to protect your child’s best interests.

With literally thousands of licensed attorneys practicing in your area and numerous Yellow Page advertisements, phone book listings, and directories seeking your business, how does one come to choose the right divorce attorney? Certainly, finding the right divorce attorney can be a time-consuming and exhausting task, but it does not need to be if you know where to start and how to plan your search. Your search for the right divorce attorney can be simplified through the following 3 actions.

(1) Be ready to set aside a reasonable financial budget to pay for your divorce
(2) Set out identifying the attorney search options available to you
(3) Go forward with your divorce attorney search

Be ready to set aside a reasonable financial budget to pay for your divorce
Your attorney fees and the cost of your divorce will depend on how much you and your spouse can agree on issues such as division of property, custody and visitation of the children, and/or support. The more you disagree with each other, the higher your costs will be. With that being said, you will want to be ready to set aside a reasonable financial budget to pay for your divorce and attorney fees associated with contesting or sorting out these issues.

Set out identifying the attorney search options available to you
Once you have thought through how you will pay for your divorce costs and attorney fees, you will want to set out identifying the attorney search options available to you. Below is a list of common attorney search methods that may be available to you.

(1) Free attorney search and research websites on the Internet
(2) Recommendations from friends and family members
(3) State Bar certified attorney referral services
(4) Non-profit legal aid agencies or Prepaid legal service plans
(5) Yellow Pages, newspaper ads, and radio ads

Go forward with your divorce attorney search
Now that you have set out identifying the attorney search options available to you, you are ready go forward with your divorce attorney search!

© 2006 Child Custody Coach

In the world of divorce, as well as any other legal procedure that can profoundly affect your life, you need an experienced professional in your corner to help you navigate the challenges of the divorce process. You need someone who has received years of training in family law and who knows all the ins and outs of the Dallas legal system by your side. This is where retaining your Dallas divorce lawyer comes in.

Your Dallas divorce lawyer will be your greatest ally in the potentially challenging marital dissolution process. You may have a very simple divorce, where you and your spouse both agree to amicably divorce and have no custody or property issues to dispute. In such a case, the costs and time spent will be minimal compared to a case that has custody or property battles at the forefront. Whether your divorce is simple or complicated, you need a Dallas divorce lawyer to obtain it.

A brief summary of the basic divorce process in Texas:

1. The divorce process begins with the filing of the first petition, called the “Original Petition for Divorce.” This document could be very short or very long, depending on your individual circumstances including children and property issues. If you want to review this petition before it is delivered to your spouse and filed, please let your Dallas divorce lawyer know as soon as possible.

2. The petition gets filed and your case is assigned to a court. Each county has one or more courts to handle family law. In Dallas there happen to be seven family law courts. Courts are chosen randomly. You or your attorney are not able to request a particular court.

3. Next comes the discovery phase. Discovery is where one spouse learns what applies to the divorce suit. This may include methods such as depositions, requests for documents and records and interrogations. Your Dallas divorce lawyer will tell you everything you need to know regarding the discovery process and what your role will be.

4. Tax issues: The matter of state and federal income taxes will be addressed. It is extremely probable that both you and your spouse will be jointly responsible for any income taxes owed on any return that was filed jointly. Your Dallas divorce lawyer can explain all the details of this if you have any questions.

5. Alimony and Child Support: Depending on your individual circumstances relating to finances and children, you may or may not be dealing with alimony and child support issues at this point. At this time the court will consider the needs of the requesting spouse and/or children, as well as the ability of the other spouse to pay, and how much.

6. Changing Your Name: At this point you can request a name change if you are a woman who wishes to resume use of her maiden surname. Your Dallas divorce lawyer can prepare all the paperwork for you and guide you through this process.

Colorado divorce lawyers are a necessary and useful service in Colorado. Divorce laws fall under family law, a broader category which is handled by family courts. There are two kinds of divorces, absolute and limited.

In an absolute divorce, the couple separates on a permanent basis and has no legal bindings or obligations once the divorce decree is served. In a limited divorce, the couple separate and are no longer cohabitants.

Common grounds for divorce are and include cruelty and mistreatment, abandonment, imprisonment for more than three years, adultery and inhuman treatment.

Under the new Colorado divorce laws, family courts are to actively manage divorce cases as well as other family law cases. Also, the affected parties should disclose information on a full and complete basis.

Though Colorado does not have formal certification for mediation practitioners, the Colorado Council of Mediators and Family Law Section of the Colorado Bar Association have developed the Recommended Guidelines for Mediator Education and Training.

This assists the various consumers, judges, attorneys and other professionals while choosing a mediator in Colorado. The mediators who meet these guidelines require a specified course in mediation training and education. They also require tenure of experience including oversight by a mentor. They should also be actively participating in continuing education in mediation ethics.

There are many experienced divorce mediators in Colorado. They strive to offer a positive and affordable alternative to adversarial divorce, child custody, child support and other related family law disputes.

Colorado divorce lawyers should have experience and be well read about family, divorce and other Colorado legal issues.

Divorce records are documentation following divorce proceedings, which normally include the name of the husband and wife, date of the marriage and the date of the divorce. Other information that may also be included in divorce documents are the date of birth of both the spouses, the addresses of the spouses and the names and ages of their children. The reason for the divorce and the property they both own can also be seen in divorce documents.

People obtain divorce records primarily for genealogical purposes, such as tracing family history and determining how property was divided between spouses and later on transferred to the children. Another reason why people access divorce documents is to determine if someone is legally divorced.

Divorce Records - Are You Ready to Know What You May Find Out?

Many say that divorce records can serve as a good measure of the character of an individual especially since these records indicate the final divorce decree and the circumstances surrounding the situation. If there are any issues of domestic violence or child abuse, these will be clearly stated in the divorce documents. Likewise, if there were any disputes regarding properties between the spouses, restraining orders and any other settlement issues, these will also be seen in the divorce records.

Where to Get Divorce Records

Since divorces are settled in court, divorce documents are obtained through the county court in which the proceedings took place. At the same time, divorce documents are also kept on the

At this time, not all counties and states have digitized their divorce documents and due to limited manpower and resources, it often takes about two to nine business days or as long as three weeks before requests are processed. With this process, requests have to be placed either in person or by mail before the divorce records are released.

Once divorce documents are online, the processing time will become more efficient, allowing anyone to view these public records as long as they have Internet access. Another advantage of conducting a search for divorce records online is that even with minimal information you will be able to obtain a lead for the full data on the divorce. For instance, you can use a current and ex spouse search beforehand to identify the names and addresses of the spouses which will in turn, bring you to the correct county in which you can request for the divorce documents.

There are two kinds of divorce records that you can request for - certified and uncertified copies. Uncertified copies are primarily used for research purposes only and cannot be submitted as legal document, such as for remarriage. A certified copy, on the other hand, will bear the seal and signature of the registrar and will only be issued to parties involved in the divorce or someone who was authorized by one of the involved parties to request for a copy. In special cases, divorce documents can be granted to an individual who can show that he or she needs a copy of these records to protect a personal right.

Too many of us seem to think that there should be 24-7 happiness in our life,
so when there is problems in a marriage the temptation for affairs and divorce is there.

But where ever we are in our life, in or out of love, single or in a long term relationship or marriage,
there is no 24-7 happiness.

There are happy moments to cherish and to hold us through the trials.
Society has lead us to believe we should be happy and beautiful at all times
and with someone happy and beautiful at all times.

The most important thing to remember when we are sad, are have feelings of depression or suicidal thoughts,
is that we don’t know what the next moment will bring, perhaps the rainbow after the rain. Love could come at any moment,
life changes sometime suddenly, sometime over a long period of time.

Than there are those of us who dream.
But we don’t want to work to make our dreams come true.
We want them to magically happen, and when they don’t or we can’t reach them so often we give up on everything, when we should find a new dream, a new direction in life.

There is a old song that has great truth in it,
when you can’t be with the one you love the one you are with.
Each of us have hidden talents,love and friendship that can be given to others,if you see a lonely person,be a friend.
To have a friend,be a friend.

Loneliness ends where friendship begins.

Peace Within
In a search for peace within,
I have found some questions and a few answers.

Regrets
Have I any regrets?
1. List all regrets.
One side of regrets,
are things that have never been done?
Try to find a way to do them.
The other side of regrets are things done wrong.
Realize this was only a learning experience.
Time to move on.

Dreams
Can I have my dreams come true?
2.Realize which dreams are unattainable,
and which dreams are realistic.
List ways of making them come true.
Remember dreams don’t always come to you.
You have to go to them.
List realistic dreams and ways to obtain them.
What if I have failed?

Failure
List Failures.
Than list the learning experience.
Failures are a very important tool of life,
They make us stronger, and wiser

Advice to parents who’s child is entering college.

Make sure that your child has taken two foreign language credits ,so they will qualify for Tops scholarships.

Ask your high school counselor for applications for scholarships ,they rarely suggest that to you,your student has to inquire.

As long as your student has a 2.5 there are a lot of scholarships that your student may qualify for, starting this process should be in the 10th grade

. The sooner the better. There will be a new word in your vocabulary ,called purge,

The way to avoid finding out the definition of this word is to make sure all financially aid is taken care of in advance,also make sure classes are confirmed.

For those who will be living in a dorm make sure it is reserved. The Procrastinator will have problems.
Know the numbers of financialaid,comptrollers,admissions,housing.and
your college website.Be prepared.
Keep up with important information.
Be prepared for surprise financial problems ,such as the financial aid not coming though in time.

Classes will be purged which means cancelled for your student if there is a financial problem.

A student has to have at least a 2.0 to qualify for financial assistance,which is harder than it sounds,college classes run shorter and are more difficult the high school classes were for your child.

Nothing is discussed concerning your child with the parent. But the university will accept your money.

Counselors at college are there for the purpose of advising classes for the major your child chooses, they don’t advice them on other issues.

Very intellect students who excelled in high school can find that they struggle in college.

A student needs to developed good study skills.

College is very expensive and can lead to a huge financial loans that will have to be repaid.

It’s a hard struggle for both students and parents.

When one fails ,encourage them to seek a new direction for failure is not the end of the world.

The hardest thing there is for a parent is to let your child go,let them have their own experiences ,successes and failures,both good and bad,and learn from them and become strong responsible independent adults.

A college education is not for everyone,some have succeeded well without a formal education,but it does open doors of opportunities

Bio Of Judy Arline Puckett

I am currently residing in Monroe, La.
I begin writing at the age of 11, and I’m 54 now.
I am the mother of three and the grandmother of five.
I love creative writing, poetry, digital art, art, photography, jazz, and blues music.
I write poetry and lyrics on every topic. War, peace, love, heartache, religion, and abortion, which I oppose.
I hope to write meaningful and worthwhile words that will touch hearts and make a difference in life.

“A poet is the voice for those who are without words.”
- Judy Arline Puckett

This is part 7 of our dealing with series. Many divorces happen because of an unequal alliance. A joining of two, separately dividing, different people. Many times its a matter of rich and poor, Immaturity, educated and uneducated, Christian and non-Christian. But most of the time, its a joining of two different people, out of the will of God. Marriages made by lust, convenience, and popularity. In most of the instances I’ve seen and councled, its a matter of, abuse and adultery, and or, childish lust that gives way to an act that is not justified. The joining of two different people, is what God warns of being unequally yoked together. There is no reason nor cause for abuse in any form, mental or physical, for this is a violation of the Laws of God and man. This is a violation of the Gospel, and will be dealt with by God. Eph 5:28-29; So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: The sins of Adultery. Pro 5:18-20; Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished(delighted to ecstasy.) with a strange woman,(A woman, not your wife.) and embrace the bosom of a stranger? These sins of man are equal to the same sins created by the woman, having a relationship with a man, not her husband.

JFB. States of this; unequally yoked “yoked with one alien in spirit.” The image is from the symbolical precept of the law (Lev_19:19), “Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind”; or the precept (Deu_22:10), “Thou shalt not plough with an ox and an ass together.” Compare Deu_7:3, forbidding marriages with the heathen; also 1Co_7:39. The believer and unbeliever are utterly heterogeneous. Too close intercourse with unbelievers in other relations also is included (2Co_6:16; 1Co_8:10; 1Co_10:14).

A marriage of people that haven’t grown up and still think as a child. Many times its the parents that cause a division between the wife and husband and often it’s just childishness that is the cause. 1Co 7:15 -
if … depart that is, wishes for separation. Translate, “separateth himself”: offended with her Christianity, and refusing to live with her unless she renounce it.
brother or a sister is not under bondage is not bound to renounce the faith for the sake of retaining her unbelieving husband [Hammond]. Deu_13:6; Mat_10:35-37; Luk_14:26. The believer does not lie under the same obligation in the case of a union with an unbeliever, as in the case of one with a believer. In the former case he is not bound not to separate, if the unbeliever separate or “depart,” in the latter nothing but “fornication” justifies separation [Photius in Aecumenius].
but God hath called us to peace Our Christian calling is one that tends to “peace” (Rom_12:18), not quarreling; therefore the believer should not ordinarily depart from the unbelieving consort (1Co_7:12-14), on the one hand; and on the other, in the exceptional case of the unbeliever desiring to depart, the believer is not bound to force the other party to stay in a state of continual discord (Mat_5:32). Better still it would be not to enter into such unequal alliances at all (1Co_7:40; 2Co_6:14).(Clark.)
bill of divorce literally, “a writing of cuttings off.” The plural implies the completeness of the severance. The use of this metaphor here, as in the former discourse (Jer_3:1), implies a close connection between the discourses. The epithets are characteristic; Israel “apostate” (as the Hebrew for “backsliding” is better rendered); Judah, not as yet utterly apostate, but treacherous or faithless. jfb
Jer 3:8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. 1Co 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
1Co 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. The sins of some churches. 1Ti 4:3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 1Co 7:15 -
But if the unbelieving depart - If they choose to leave you.
Let him depart - You cannot prevent it, and you are to submit to it patiently, and bear it as a Christian. brns.
Divorce does not mean the end of ones ability to love or remarry, if they chose to do so. We cannot condemn the divorce for abiding to the word of God and Jesus, concerning divorce. If the circumstances arise, then we must not condemn ourselves, for if the individual does all to reconcile to the other and is refused, then the person is not bound any more but has retain peace between them and God. In these cases, do not try to bear the burden of blame or fault with yourself, this is self condemnation. Those that are not saved, the laws of God are not in force with them, for the carnal mind is not subject to the law of God. Proof? Rom 8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. Jfb. In such a state of mind there neither is nor can be the least subjection to the law of God. The reason here is explained, that, a person, an unbeliever is not, or will not, be bound to the laws of God and will do as he or she desires to do. There by, being not subject to the Laws of God. This is where many say that a person being married in or as sinners, after divorce, cannot remarry. This is untrue, for being out in sin, and then being saved, God no longer remembers the sins of their past. In so that a person can remarry and still be in the will of God, without a judgment being leveled against that person. This is not to say that they are not bound by the plan of salvation, for all will give an answer for their actions.
Fornication; 1. The incontinence or lewdness of unmarried persons, male or female; also, the criminal conversation of a married man with an unmarried woman.
2. Adultery. Mat 5.
3. Incest. 1 Cor 5.
4. Idolatry; a forsaking of the true God, and worshipping of idols. 5.conjugal infidelity. 2 Chr 21. Rev 19. ars.
Gen_2:23, Gen_2:24, Gen_24:67; Pro_5:18, Pro_5:19; Ecc_9:9; Mal_2:14-16; Luk_14:26; Eph_5:25, Eph_5:28, Eph_5:29, Eph_5:33; 1Pe_3:7

Temple of Spirit & Truth Ministries
A.R.Smith Ministries
http://www.ourchurch.com/member/a/arsmithsermons/